


Linked Universe Headcanons

by Catgirl1



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), headcanons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 130
Words: 17,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23975209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catgirl1/pseuds/Catgirl1
Summary: Just as the title says.I don't own Linked Universe. This is just me being half awake and writing down what weirdness my mind comes up with, usually to make people smile or laugh.
Relationships: Malon (Legend of Zelda)/Time (Linked Universe), Sun/Sky
Comments: 120
Kudos: 448





	1. Voices

Time: I can't decide, but probably in an accent of a language that really isn't spoken anymore, maybe norse?

Twilight: Oklahoma accent

Wild: Boston, could easily make An impression of a girl’s voice,

Wind: Sounds like a girl doing a good impression of a young boy, has the most entertaining voice cracks ever, has a Californian accent

Four: Norwegian, sounds like Norwegian Edward Elric (I think it's fitting)

Hyrule: Irish and Scottish- somehow

Legend: Sounds sarcastic even when he isn't trying to be, Brooklyn accent

Warriors: Alaskan accent. That's it. That's the last edit I'm doing. 

Sky: Slight Canadian accent 

Extras:

Malon: Wisconsin accent (no, I don't say Wiscansin. Take it from someone who lives in Wisconsin. We will gut you if you steal our cheese though.)

Ravio: North Dakota (after a quick google search, that is the top state of scams. I was expecting it to be Nevada because Las Vegas)


	2. #2

Wild and Warriors will do the most random shit, then call it a "knight thing." It clear as day isn't, but nobody really knows or cares.  
Example:

Wild and Warriors: *grabbing hand fulls of mud and chucking it at a perfectly clean wall*

Twilight: WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!

Wild: It's a knight thing.

Warriors: Yeah, Twi!

Twilight: Oh okay.

Sky: *thinking* _What has Hylian kind become?_


	3. Ravio and Revali are hard to say...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Side note: I heard about the ship Ravio and Link, but I got confused at the name Ravioli, because that’s a type of pasta I eat when it’s a nothing is planned night. So, I always wondered- why do these fans like ravioli so much? I mean, it’s good pasta, but why do they write fanfiction about it? And then I realized it’s a ship name.

Everyone will accidentally mispronounce Ravio's name.

Wild always mispronounces Revali's name, but it's usually on purpose.


	4. Touching

Due to trauma, the Links don't touch each other all that much, for hugs or anything. Warriors is especially skittish when people touch him from his experience with Cia.


	5. Dorks

The Links are huge dorks, despite being the brave heroes of Hyrule. They also act like idiots and it's hilarious for their other friends to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my defense... when I wrote this out, I didn’t know this was canon.  
> Somehow


	6. Fierce Deity

The Fierce Deity was actually Hylia’s boyfriend/husband prior Skyward Sword, but when he faced Demise, he was split apart into endless mortal forms in different times. Thus, the Links.


	7. Creativeness

Everyone took part in cleverly naming their wolf, Wolfie. When Malon found out, she banned Time from naming any of their future children, afraid he would name them things like Hylian or Person or Infant.


	8. Ilia

Twilight, like an idiot, got Epona slightly hurt.

Wild, upon meeting Ilia: Hi, Ilia, Link has told us a lot about you. He also said that you like to lecture and scream at him when he gets Epona hurt, so he made us promise not to tell you about the scratch on her leg!

The other Links: *facepalms*

Twilight, during the facepalming: *waits for Ilia to murder him* _Goodbye, cruel world._

Time: I'll write your obituary for you. Cause of death?

Twilight: Murdered by childhood friend after protege's hourly display of stupidity.

Ilia: **_LINK!!!!_**

Legend: You're on your own, Twi!

All the Links, minus Twilight: *High tails it outta there*


	9. Sneeze

Time sneezes like a kitten. He finds a way to never sneeze so nobody finds out and the others want to see him sneeze for whatever reason, so they try to get him to sneeze in every way.


	10. What if....

What if everyone knows the relationship between Twilight and Wolfie and the ones who keep that knowledge a secret mess with Twilight just to tease him.

Warriors: You know, I'm starting to realize something about Wolfie...

Twilight, Wild, Four, (now) Legend, and Time: _Oh, we're fucked._

Warriors: He really likes a lot of the things Twilight does.

Twilight: _I'm done. Goodbye, cruel world. I'll punch Hylia in the face for you, Time!_

Warriors: But he could never be Twilight. He displays a lot more happiness.

Wind: He only wagged his tail a slight bit. And that was when we first met him.

Warriors: My point exactly.


	11. Sarcasm and Humor

All of their sarcasm and humor is on impulse. They can't help it from slipping their mouths and it was something that got all of them in trouble one time or another. None of them get mad when someone does because they are verbally, physically, and mentally incapable of stopping it come from their mouths.


	12. How Time got the scratch on his eye

Revenge of the Cuccos. They are everywhere.

When Twilight learned the cause of Time’s scar, he started laughing and Wild thought it was the end of the world. 

Twilight doesn't tell anyone else because he knows Time would come after him, but everyone else placed bets.


	13. Out of nowhere

All the Links can die and bring themselves back as a loop. They can't properly die until Hylia decides it's time. Sun didn't let Sky die until he told her he needed to die.


	14. Just a weird thought

Wild got his scars from corrupted guardians, but what if the lasers somehow had malice in them as well? (I've seen a few fanfics where Wild woke up corrupted. But, they aren't the LU)

So then, you might be asking: Why doesn't he go evil or look like some kind of demon? Maybe his spirit is too unshakeable (by means of being corrupted or turned evil) for that. I mean, the dude basically feels he let his kingdom down, his friends and fiance are dead, his family is either dead or close to death, he's usually alone, he had to set everyone free despite losing his memories and just waking up, he was being pushed to the brink by everyone, he was put under a ton of stress, and yet, look at the feral emperor gremlin barbarian man. Seriously, despite Wild going through all that, he's still outgoing and friendly. Just _how does that happen_?!


	15. Alcohol

Time and Twilight drink to forget. Wind just drinks because he’s a pirate and weirdly likes the flavor. When he said this, the other Links gave him a strange look.  



	16. In every case...

In every case, when Link was named, his parents thought: What is a good name to make thousands of puns over?


	17. Just random ones about Warriors

Warriors grew up on the streets of CastleTown and went to the army after Impa blackmailed him.

Also, he was Mask’s babysitter. Toon/Wind was eighteen. But they were all pretty close.


	18. Random ones about Sky

Sky has a huge fear of tongues. It’s worse than his fears concerning Demise.

He can also understand morning gibberish speak. As a scenario:

Legend woken up too early: Ugub bleh blah.

Sky: Time, we've gotta take a break!

Time: Why?

Legend: Flergle Bezzle NGAHHHH!

Sky: Legend's bleeding through again and Hyrule needs to stop the bloodflow!

Hyrule: *goes on a rampage about how they have to be more careful* (he got himself lost three minutes after they left. Nobody was surprised.)


	19. Adorableness

All the Links have cuteness in them. They are all oblivious.  
The most oblivious ones are:  
Sky  
Wild  
Hyrule  



	20. Random ones about Wild

When he first woke up in the shrine, Wild was basically a giant newborn baby. No memories about anything, feeling like everything is very new. An infant, I tell you.


	21. As children

When the Links were children, they were extremely hyper all the time and were always bouncing off the walls, even when sleeping. Legend's uncle recycled a hella ton of wine bottles. Wind's grandma has a lot of patience, the Kokiri recycled soda, (based on the manga) Twilight's old town and Ordon gave him jobs to keep him busy, Warriors was a special case, Sky was, luckily, a heavy sleeper, Wild was sent off to kill monsters, Four was put to work early, and Hyrule had his world to deal with 24/7/36(5)(6)/100% of the time.


	22. How to get Hylia out of a bad mood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Jojo actually used this one, I know I would cry from happiness.

Time: Hylia is an asshole.  
Everyone minus Sky: Yeah.  
Sky: *remembers who his girlfriend is* I'll fix that for you guys.  
Sky: *approaches a statue of Hylia* Hey, sweetie, how you doing? You happy to hear from me after all this time?  
Hylia in the heavens: *Watching her dorky boyfriend/childhood friend/husband being adorkable*  
Hylia: *giggles slightly as her day is made*  
The Links had a happy week.

Hylia gets cranky without seeing her boyfriend for a few eons.

Bonuses:  
Sky: Zelda, have a snickers  
Hylia: Why?!  
Sky: Because, you're an asshole to my reincarnations when you're hungry!

Hylia: *as Sky is flirting with her statue* Why is he so cute?!


	23. This one has been bothering me

What if Twilight and Midna did the deed and Midna was pregnant when she left and eventually the kid she had somehow got to Hyrule and made a family that eventually lead down to Wild?   
I doubt this would actually happen, but it'd be cool if it did. Fight me. Actually, don't. I don't like to fight or argue.


	24. Awkward #1

Time: So, how did I meet you as the skeleton? I bet I made a dad joke or something, right?

Twilight: Actually, you called me a disgrace.

Time:..... Oh...

Twilight: Asshole


	25. Revenge and limits

Twilight gets back at the others in many ways (usually as Wolfie) by hacking in their faces, deciding to put all his weight on them when they just get comfortable or need to get up, will break all of Wild’s ladles without regrets, will get in water and shake himself off when he is near everyone or lick their faces when they’re least expecting it. But he will never go so far as to not cuddle with them when they have a nightmare.


	26. Twilight and cats

Twilight absolutely loves cats and is sad nobody else really does. He has five at home and will talk about their shenanigans for hours to anyone. He will stop to pet any kind of cat, even if it is a wild animal, who wants to bite his hand off.  
Colin and Ilia take care of his cats while he's gone and when he gets back, he doesn't stop to say hi to anyone, no. He heads straight to the treehouse to cuddle with his cats.


	27. Introduction to pills

If the group is introduced to pills, Wild would most definitely stick one up his nose.


	28. Kleptomania

Sky was born with extreme kleptomania and would always steal things from people, usually just on impulse. The only person he stole from who didn't get mad at him for it, no matter how much he stole from them, was Sun.

This was also such a huge trait he had that every single other Link has kleptomania as well, even though nobody else in their families had it. (Well, minus the Links that are related, but besides them, nobody else got it). So, when the others steals something, the others just forgive them for it, since they can't help but steal.

This also made everyone's childhood terrible because everyone got really mad when they would steal something. Sometimes, they wouldn't remember stealing it.


	29. Eyepatches

When the Links are in Wind's world, Time is required to wear an eyepatch. He originally didn't want too, but everyone insisted so much and then Aryll decided to order Time to wear one, so he finally submitted.


	30. Legend

Legend has a love/hate relationship with sleeping. On one hand, he can see Marin in his dreams sometimes and they have fun, but on the other hand, he knows she's gone and has a terrible time waking up. He usually is in a terrible mood in the mornings, but can be brought out of it by shenanigans from the others, because, as much as he hates to admit it, he seriously loves them as if they were family and would do anything for them.


	31. Upon meeting Red, Blue, Green, and Vio

Everyone must protect Red from sadness, and if monsters made him cry, nobody will rest until that monster is destroyed. Red and Wind are brothers.  
Green basically has the same personality as 'regular Four', so nothing is new with him, minus the fact that Time made him babysit his other personalities.  
Vio will usually talk with the others about their own times to learn as much as possible. He also misses his boyfriend.  
Blue is BFFs with Legend and nobody can convince me otherwise. Green and Time make sure the two don't wander off together in fear of the world being destroyed.


	32. The sexualities cause I'm bored

Time: Despite what people think, he actually was aro ace from his time in Kokiri Forest, but did manage to fall in love with Malon.

Twilight: Pansexual

Wild: Bisexual.

Four: He does try to avoid it, simply because he’s really four people, he can’t be split or be the person they want forever, and it’s be seven years and he still looks little. 

Warriors: He’s asexual biromantic. 

Legend: Straight juice

Hyrule: Hyrule isn’t exactly sure, which is fine. He’s a caveman. He grew up hiding from a social life with only an old guy to take care of him, as far as I understand.

Sky: Straight

Wind: He’s thirteen, he doesn’t need to know right now.


	33. Ladles and genes

Idk if this is reality, but Wild is related to Twilight, who's related to Time and Malon (the last part is canon, Idk if the thing about Wild being part of the fam is canon). Malon beats people over the head with ladles and Time fears ladles, less than he does cuccos, but he fears ladles, especially in his wife's hands. The beating people up with ladles skipped generations and finally landed on Wild.

Time also fears Wild holding.... just about anything. Come on guys, this is Wild we're talking about. He could end the world with a plastic spoon!


	34. Girl Lessons

The Links, as they are clueless idiots, know almost nothing about girls, despite growing up with them. Malon had to teach them about girls.

Malon: So, a girl usually will express she likes you through someway, and there's a slight difference between that personality and the type that don't like you that way.

Legend: Girls are enigmas.

Twilight: *taking notes* Tell me about it.


	35. Modern Day style

Time: Plain shirt and jeans

Twilight: Red and black long sleeve plaid button up shirt, blue jeans that are usually worn out

Wild: Nintendo shirt and pants

Warriors: Anything in style

Four: Just about anything, so long as it isn't terrible

Legend: Emo all the way

Hyrule: Couldn't give a shit. Everyone else calls him out for not matching. It's kinda hilarious

Wind: short sleeve shirt and shorts

Sky: short sleeves and pants


	36. Link vs The book/movie Twilight

Twilight would absolutely hate it and throw it down Death Mountain in hopes of never seeing it again.  
Fight me


	37. If Warriors found out Time was Young Link

Warriors: But, how?!?!

Time: I don't look the same?

Warriors: It's just... you were so adorable and likable back then! What happened?

Time:..... 


	38. Candy stash

All the Links have a personal candy stash. Wind has a pretty big one, but Time's is legendary. The variety Time has is outstanding.


	39. Random Time ones

Say the Links got a pizza. If Time takes a bite and decides he doesn't like the pizza, he will spit it back into the box, even if there's still pizza slices in the box. Wild will do this sometimes, but Time will always do this and doesn't care about reactions.


	40. Hylia's blessing

Sky seriously cares about the others and feels extremely responsible for them, since they are all his reincarnations. Before he died, he asked his Zelda to let him be a part of the others. That part is used as their comforter. When the others feel down, they can hear someone softly telling them everything is alright and there will be good eventually.


	41. Warriors and Young Link

Warriors called Young Link YL. Anyone else who called him that would be met with a terrible fate, one of a ~~twenty~~ ten-year-old's pranks. 

When Warriors figured out Time is YL, he started calling him that. Time absolutely loves Warriors giving him the nickname.


	42. Master Sword

The Master Sword was created by Hylia for the Fierce Deity's birthday as a joke. The joke was that the Fierce Deity always complained he felt lonely on the battlefield. So, Hylia also made Fi. She was going to give it to him, but then the whole thing with Demise happened and she was like: Welp, now that I think about it, this could just destroy all evil, so....

Bonus:

*Hylia trying to figure out how to give the Fierce Deity the sword*

Hylia: Happy birthday! Now, I know despite the fact that you have the best intentions, you spread fear unintentionally everywhere you go and could kill Hyrule's entire population in your sleep, and because of that, you have emotional issues, instead of giving you therapy, I'm going to give you a sword with a woman in it to keep you company!.... Perfect.

Random Hylian: Your Grace, we have set up the birthday party, what do you think?

Birthday Party- skeletons of Hyrule's enemies scattered around, ~~blood~~ mysterious red paint on a sign writing out 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY!', pin the sword to the Demise, soft music playing in the background, streamers, and a red velvet cake with vanilla and chocolate frosting

Hylia: An inappropriate gift, a birthday party full of violence, the Fierce Deity getting pissed off when we get here when he sees the decorations, a cake that's the color of the rusty old blood of his enemies... (camera close up) Ah yeah, it's all coming together.


	43. The End

I can imagine Wild putting back the Master Sword (he doesn't in canon) and going back to the ruins of different places, ending up at Lon Lon Ranch and holding up an actual unbreakable sword made for him by Four. Then, going back to the Temple of Time where it's being rebuilt.


	44. Warriors

Warriors ships Impa and Lana.


	45. Time's gremlin side

Everytime Wild throws a bomb at a pile of dangerously placed rocks, Time internally cries and puts his hands over his heart, thinking "I'm so proud of him!"

However, he knows that if he said this out loud, Twilight would murder him for encouraging Wild's behavior.

In other words, Time is a dad to the Links except Wild, who's more of his grandchild. Twilight took up the dad role.


	46. Twilight's cats

Names: Mr. Fluffiness, Emperor Purrface, Princess, Furball and Pudgy Waffles

Why did he name them those brilliant names? Because Mr. Fluffiness is a giant ball of fluff inside and out, Emperor Purrface is always (and I mean always) purring and loving attention, Princess acts extremely posh, Furball is a ball of fur with a face, and Pudgy Waffles is pudgy and somehow more of a glutton than Wild. Plus, Twilight has a strange sense of humor and wanted to hear the most serious people in Hyrule say their names.

The Hero's Shade and Time, even though they're the same person and Hero's Shade has already heard their names, give him stares of hopeless questioning. 

Twilight also has a cat door for the other cats' food. Pudgy Waffles has food out in the open and will eat any and all cat food he gets to. The other cats are skinnier than him and can actually fit through the cat door.


	47. Pot stores

Due to complications, they are all closed until further notice until it's possible for a restock.

Anyone by the name of Link, Time, Twilight, Warriors, Wild, Wind, Four, Legend, Hyrule, and Sky are banned and not allowed within twenty feet of the area. They have their pictures attached to the book of banned people. 

Remember to train your cuccos to guard the pots.


	48. Just a perspective of mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is moreso about if they were to do movies about The Legend of Zelda or at least tv shows

I think the better movie choices out there are Ocarina Of Time, Majora's Mask, Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword, and Link's Awakening.

Anime shows would be everything else. In the art style as the anime cutscenes of Link's Awakening 2019.

Ocarina of Time should start with a beautiful but epic version of the theme, speeding through the Lost Woods to the Kokiri Forest, landing on Link waking up from Navi, causing WAY too much trouble for everyone, landing on Saria, who's all like: Link, seriously? Whatever. Go to the Deku Tree, he has something to tell you. It should end with Link waking up as his child self and screaming: NOOOO, I HAVE TO GO THROUGH PUBERTY AGAIN!!!

Twilight Princess can start with a black screen, then to the scene of Midna fighting Zant. It can end with Link giving a monologue about looking to the future and cutting to him doing something dorky with Colin with everyone else in the background facepalming.

Majora's Mask starts off with the same opening as the game, but ends with Link getting to Malon at the end. He should celebrate when he sees the Fierce Deity is extremely tall and past puberty.

Skyward Sword starts out with Hylia's battle and ends with the same ending as the game. Link should definitely flip off the goddess's statue for him having to go through the Silent Realms.

Link's Awakening should have the same start and ending, just make it seem like Marin is a seagull now, as she wished. The island disappearing and Link finding out everything was a dream should be heartbreaking.

As for the shows, absolutely, positvely no ExCuSe Me PrInCeSs's alright, Nintendo?


	49. Dancing

Time and Twilight are terrible and everyone makes fun of them for it.

Wild can breakdance like no other (seriously, the property damage is really high, he looks great though)

Wind puts on a show and everyone loves it.

Warriors doesn't like dancing, but if he needs to slow dance for the good publicity, he will.

Four stands to the side, but he might move around a bit

Legend will not dance, no matter what. Actually, if a certain red head islander was there, he'd dance with her.

Hyrule will dance, but not much.

Sky is very shy when it comes to dancing, but he can slowdance with Sun.


	50. Time's mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just something I came up with while thinking about how amazing my mom is.

Can we just give this woman so much credit? She left Hyrule to give her kid to the care of a tree and its children, knowing she would die. Despite her injuries, she made it to the Great Deku Tree and died moments after.

Also, if she were alive, she'd probably have a mark in her skull from all the facepalming and the word ''sane'' wouldn't apply to her if she had to raise him.


	51. Links vs the Modern World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody, please, write a fanfic about Time accidentally consuming Helium, please! That would be hilarious!

**The Blender**

Twilight: Tell Wild about this and critters will go extinct. Mice, squirrels, rats, and most of all, rabbits

Sky: *looking at Legend* Is that really a bad thing?

**The Trampoline**

Wild: 3

Hyrule: 2

Both: 1 *jump at each other and hit heads*

Wild: That was...

Hyrule: AMAZING

Wild: Let's do it again.

Twilight: I worry about them sometimes...

**The Toilet**

Time: Sky, what are you doing?

Sky: These usually come with a disembodied hand. I'm looking for it.

**Books**

Vio: YEEEEEEEESSSSSSS

Green: Just don't steal any.

Red: Awwwh, he has such a gift to like books!

Blue: We share a body. We are at a bookstore. I hate everything about this.

**The Cosplay**

Time: Where the fuck do these people get this shit?

Wild and Warriors: *putting their other outfits to the back of their inventories*

**The Alcohol**

Wind: I'm 21, I swear!

Time: You know you can only drink the homemade vodka when you're truthful.

 ~~Blue~~ Four: Call me a kid and I will break your kneecaps.

That poor barman deserves an appreciation day

**Airplanes**

Sky: OH MY HYLIAAAAAA, YES!!!!

Everyone else: *giving him questioning looks*

**The Internet**

Time: You say we're supposed to ruin lives and however terrible ours were, the better at it we'll be?

Rando: Yes.

*The Links were professionals*

 **A Diving** **Board**

With no regard for his life, Wild dived in like the feral chaotic dumbass arsonist gremlin he is. He somehow lived, even though he isn't a good swimmer.

The worst part was when Time ~~blackmailed~~ convinced Wolfie to take a jump in. The amount of shed dog hair was incredible and Twilight reeked of wet dog with a hilarious grumpy face.

**A grill**

Twilight: Nope. *Drags Wild away*

Four: Red, stop it!

Red: I just want to enjoy the fire.

Green:... Red, the last time you 'wanted to enjoy' a fire, you caused a forest fire.

**Ghiralink fanfictions**

Sky: *unholy gurgling*

Warriors: Sky, what are you reading?

A few moments later....

Warriors: I'm going to go bleach my eyes out. And then... I'm going to throw myself into traffic.

Sky: Can I join you?

**Fanart of Vio and Shadow**

Four: *crying*

Vio: I want Shadooooow

Shadow: *listening in from Four's shadow* Vio, oh my goddesses. *not sure whether to roll his eyes or coo*

**The Hamock**

Twilight: *laying on it with sunglasses and a drink in a coconut shell with a plastic straw and a paper umbrella*

Time: *babysitting Wild* 

**The new Link's Awakening**

Legend: Why do I look like that?

Everyone else: OH MY HYLIA, YOU'RE SO CUTE!

*They were looking at a poster*

**Disney World**

Twilight: *holding a leash that's tied to Wild* *forcing Wild to buckle in for the rides*

Everyone: *Stealing anything they get their hands on* (come on, guys, they steal in almost every game if not all)

Wind: *bouncing off the walls* Look, there's a ride! Let's go! *dragging Warriors to every single ride*

Everyone: *Making the most stupid faces ever for rides and having Wild take pictures of them*

*Somehow Legend got passed security... somehow*

*Time made every single tourist and security guard there nervous*

Sky loves the Avatar ride as everyone else screams for dear life.

**Universal**

Time: *holding an arm across Twilight as Gringotts ride goes sideways*

Twilight: Time, I'm fine.

Also Twilight: Wild, No! Keep your hands on the restrainer! 

Sky: *Having so much fun on every single rollercoaster, it's inhuman*

**Wild vs The Car**

Twilight: Wild get in there.

Wild: *fighting tooth and claw to keep his seatbelt off*

**Everyone vs The Car**

If Time's driving wasn't enough to kill them, the boredom surely would.

**Legend vs random picture of a whale**

Legend: I've got my eye on you.

**Legend vs the concept of the Easter Bunny**

Legend: *squeaking*

Twilight and Sky: *Laughing their asses off with a new nickname for Legend in mind*

**Twilight vs the concept of a werewolf or furry**

Twilight: *glaring at Four, Time, Twilight, and Legend* Call me either and you _die_.

Legend *quietly to Twilight*: Then, don't call me the Easter Bunny.

Twilight: Legend can call me a furry

**Who would win: A Link or an alligator/crocodile/shark?**

A Link.

**Helium**

Time: *accidentally got high on helium* WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY VOICE?!

(Please, please, write a fanfiction about them being transferred to the Modern World)


	52. Wind

Wind grows up to be taller than all of them.


	53. And now, Hylia and Sky

Right after the threat is gone, Hylia descends. What is the first thing she does? She runs to Sky and kisses him, extremely happy to actually see him and be able to kiss him again. Sky is hit with the ten thousand ton weight that is the realization of: Holy crap, my girlfriend is Hylia.

And everyone else thinks it's adorable (yes, despite them hating her guts). Wild even takes a few pictures. 

Side note: everyone has respect for Sky because he's special enough to have a goddess fall in love with him. 


	54. Swearing

Time: Will swear occasionally, but does not call a girl a bitch, though Hylia, Din, Farore, and Nayru are special cases. He has some decency, come on guys. But, he learned swear words on his adventure. Warriors also taught him some.

Twilight: A little more than Time

Wild: Zero respect and will swear. If it's really bad, Twilight will wash his mouth out with soap.

Wind: Are you kidding? Those assholes can hear him fucking swear all the time.

Legend: Surprisingly, on a higher note than Wind. He and Wind will swear like it's the end of the world.

Hyrule: More than Wild.

Sky: Being the resident (kinda, but not really) angel, he doesn't swear, but if he ever does, everyone would get scared

Warriors: He swears, but not in front of the princess or Lana. He will teach swear words to children and not be satisfied until it's drilled in their minds on how to pronounce it and they have the word memorized.

Four: Blue swears all the time, Green and Vio are... meh, and somehow, Red doesn't know swear words. (Shadow taught Vio a _lot_ of swears)


	55. Four

Four, funny enough, does have slight schizophrenia. But, it gets him at random moments, like he'd just be walking and then he’ll hear voices he’s positive are real (not Green, Blue, Vio, or Red).

He was sure, at first, that the Minish were part of his schiz.


	56. Everyone

Everyone has some sort of fear for and/or of Wild. That boy is the most insane person any of them have ever met, but if they were to have met him before, they would've preferred his amnesiac, completely insane self more. (so would have Wild's self 100 years ago)


	57. Wind- I don't think I have a lot of Wind or Hyrule, so I'm going to try and focus on them

Wind's protective big brother mode is terrifying, and the others have seen it done once before on a monster that came to Outset once, so they make sure to treat Aryll like a princess.


	58. Can I do one about deaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was in a depressed mood, listening to sad music, and came up with how Time dies, so I wrote a headcanon about how they all die.  
> This one is perfectly okay to skip.

**Time:** Stabbed in several different places, and dies slowly, until he's realized every one of his regrets. Can't die peacefully

 **Twilight:** Killed by poachers kidnapping and skinning him alive for his fur (Midna figures out who they were and gets them executed by Shadow Beasts left in Hyrule without a second thought). Like Time, he came back as a ghosty thing _not a skeleton_ in Wolf form for Wild. Accepts his death, but wishes he could have done more

 **Wild:** (For the second death) Lynels overrun him and tear him into no more than bloody ribbons. Feels he hasn't done enough

 **Wind:** Hung and then while he was dying from that, dismembered. Is able to accept he needs to go and dies with a smile, despite how terrible his death is.

 **Four:** Suicide because he just lost everyone- his father, his grandfather, lost sight of the Minish, Shadow went still, Zelda became too busy to notice him, everyone he knew grew up, and the voices in his head got too loud. All of his personas cry as they die, they only wanted someone, anyone to help them, they didn't really want to die.

 **Legend:** Beat to death by things in the shape of the inhabitants of Koholint. Possibly the worst as he truly felt he was the bad guy in the end and cries out apologies, only to be cut off in the end.

 **Warriors:** Public execution by traitors after being tortured for information- princess or Impa didn't show up in time to save him from death. Ready for his rest.

 **Sky:** Fatally injured beyond repair and begging Hylia to let him die. A grudging acceptance to his death, but worried for what comes next.

 **Hyrule:** Poisoned- in a way so that he can feel his body failing him. The only Link to not really know whether he was or wasn't ready.

I have always imagined that part of Demise's curse is that none of the heroes die in peaceful ways, and that it's normally horribly gory so sometimes everyone is left without a body to bury or cremate, sometimes because nobody can recognize them. 

Again, I am so, so sorry.


	59. And now, inspiration from Bob's Burgers

Hyrule's way of expressing that he loves someone, romantically or as family, is by slapping them across the face. His slaps are actually really painful.


	60. Smarts

All the Links are smart when it comes to battles or parties- you would want to be invited to a party. They're all very good at making strategies for how to take down enemies.

But when it comes to socializing and people flirting with them or public speaking- they're all lost causes, which is why we're all happy Legend and his Zelda decided to keep their sibling status a secret. As hilarious as it would be to see Legend on the throne (would be like Cusco from The Emperor's New Groove in a way), he'd probably destroy Hyrule's reputation and be known as The Cussing King.


	61. Hylian's fragile ears

Hylians can hear at a higher or lower point than humans. As such, dog whistles are the worst things in the world for them.

Rusl forced Bo to forbid dog whistles in Ordon after it once got so bad that younger Twilight was covering his ears and crying into Rusl.


	62. To wear pants or not to wear pants, that is the question

His tunic is so short, everyone prays Legend won't bend over. Or step over them or jump. Legend doesn't wear any kind of pants- that includes underwear.

Legend also has a habit of destroying pants he gets ahold of. 

If someone asks him to wear pants, he will climb on them and pull out their hair, screaming for them to take it back.


	63. Headcanons of everyone's animal forms- should they enter the Twilight Realm and get cursed or something

Time: Golden Wolf and it freaks out Twilight.

Twilight- Wolfie. We all already know this. 

Wild- Bear- I don't know why, I just have this headcanon and they're omnivores that like eating.

Wind- Seagull; he's just glad he wasn't turned into a fish.

Four- A mouse, he almost mistook it for Minish

Sky- Golden eagle- I don't want to put bald eagle for... reasons, even though I was born, raised and still live in the USA (not saying where exactly, though)

Warriors- A grey mountain lion. Why? Because it's my mind and I can't explain half the stuff I come up with, so shut up!

Legend- The pink very fluffy bunny he is. Everyone thinks it'd absolutely hilarious and don't stop laughing at him for a while.

Hyrule- Coyote, cause they're scavengers and I think he'd make a good one.

If a wild predator that isn't one of the Links so much as looks at Wind, Four, or Legend, the others will destroy it. 

Wild and Warriors occasionally get grumpy about being so big and not being able to do half the things they can as Hylians, whereas Sky is possibly the happiest of all of them. Legend is extremely grumpy about being a bunny.


	64. SUGAAAA!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know that this might not be true, but it's a headcanon.

They can drink alcohol without going crazy, but it's a different story if they have caffeine or sugar. They will go insane, like wearing their shirts and boxers with their pants on their heads, and running around. It was worse when they were younger, but it's still horrible to give them sugar. Malon usually drags Time in the cellar and locks the door to save the world until she threw away sugar. She almost passed out when he told her they all had the (as Malon calls it) Condition-That-Could-Destroy-The-World-If-Ganon-Didn't-First.


	65. Sibling things

Aryll and Wind have a fun game where if they're on the beach, they push the other into the water and sprint away.


	66. Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've always had headcanons for how the links sleep- taking up the entire bed or as little as possible  
> I get it, I haven't updated for a few days. Feel free to track me down and chase me with a knife if you got impatient.
> 
> Before I forget, and even if this may be kinda random- Happy Pride Month, everyone!

Time- He looks like he's dead when he's sleeping and it scares the hell out of Twilight

Twilight- He will turn around in his sleep- a full 180 turn, and I don't mean back to stomach, I mean he will start at point a with his feet at point b, and in the morning, feet are at point a. 

Wild- a starfish, somehow, he takes up the whole bed and Twilight will wake up with Wild's foot in his mouth

Four- Sleeps on his right side- that's the only way he's comfortable. Any other position gives him a bad night

Legend- He sleeptalks like no other, and it's mostly swear words and complete nonsense, he also usually sleeps cropped up against a log

Warrior- Any position is fine, so long as he's on a hard surface

Hyrule- The guy can't sleep well unless he's sitting up or standing. This makes sleepwalking a potential hazard.

Sky- Any place, any condition, any time, he also could sleep through people yelling in his ear, having ice water poured on him, people playing music as loudly as possible and beyond, but as soon as Sun comes, he wakes up so easily

Wind- This bastard can somehow take up the entire bed just by being in it. 


	67. Faithful to a spouse

It’s insane how faithful Time and Malon are to each other, especially since Time (more than likely) had affairs with a lot of other people, usually to take advantage of them.


	68. Best OTP ever

Everyone's favorite OTP (except for Sky) is CuccosxGanon. They have a running joke (at least, it could be a joke) that if cuccos and Ganon didn't try to kill them at every sighting, they'd play matchmaker in a heartbeat. 

Malon has a joke that if Time wasn't married to her, he'd marry a hospital bed.


	69. Smells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off something from Triforce Heroes.

The Links all smell of lavender and have surprisingly good breath all the time, which smells like peppermint. Unfortunately, when they're all together, Malon or whoever else is stuck with them is choking on lavender.


	70. Fierce Dadity

The Fierce Deity is actually a softie, much like the other Links and it can be hilarious, but embarrassing for Time.


	71. Spray bottle

Time equips himself with a spray bottle everywhere he goes. How else do you think he keeps the Links in line? 

He sprays Wild, Wind, and Legend with it the most out of the others.


	72. Disney memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got bored... once again

Twilight: Call it what you will; fate, destiny...

Time: A tree

Wind: *to Warriors* You sneaky, son of a-

Warriors- Careful, we're in a church

Time: Your grandson had to be a CROSS DRESSER!!

Twilight:....

Ganondorf: Tell us where Link is and we'll burn your land to the ground!

Vaati: Don't you mean or?

Vio: I'd tell you, but you're too dumb to understand!

Blue: WHAT?!

Vio: Of course your tiny brain is confused! Guess I'll just have to dumb it down to your level! Sorry I don't speak moron as well as you do, but let me try!

Blue: *Getting ready to murder Vio*

Vio: Duuuh

Malon: *about Time* Don't worry, it's alright. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed!

Warriors: *getting revenge on the others* These people are the _fastest_ around here!

Legend: That's good! We're on the clo-

*Slow moving Hylians going about their day*

Warriors: *finally talking to a friend* Wanna hear a joke?

The others: _NOOO!_

Warriors: What... do you call a three humped camel?

Slow person: I.... don't.... know... what... do... you.... call... a... three... humped... camel...?

Warriors: Pregnant! 

Slow person slowly laughs and has to tell everyone around them.

Wind: Uh oh.

Four: Don't tell me- Wild is out of commission and Hyrule is taking over cooking?

Wind: Yep.

Four: And it's going to look like one of Twilight's cat's hairballs and taste like vomit?

Wind: Most likely.

Four: Bring it on.


	73. Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something I came up with right after I woke up.

What if the Links hair would be just as fluffy and soft as their animal forms would be? 

Twilight running his hands through Legend’s hair because he can’t get enough of bunny fur.


	74. Dink

Dink is a sucker for dark humor.


	75. Black licorice

Only Wild, Hyrule, and Wind love black licorice. The rest of them spit it out and then go to drastic measures to get the taste out of their mouth.


	76. Wanted

Each and every Link has been wanted more than once and so, they collect the posters. The collection is hidden somewhere. They also have a book of laws they broke. The ones they are most proud of have a gold shiny page.

Time: Ahh, the good ol' days! *lays out a pile of signs and a giant book*

Four: Wow, caught for stealing a... WHY DID YOU NEED A PUPPY?!

Sky: Eh, I would go out sometimes at night with my loftwing. 

Warriors: *walks in*

Everyone, minus Time: *hiding their shit, because he _is_ a Captain and has the authority to drag their asses to prison*

Warriors: Ugh, again with the lawbreaking?

Time: *steals Warriors bag and takes out the entire stash of the Captain lawbreaking* This will be fun to go through!

Warriors: Oh boy.

Hyrule: War, what did you _do?!_

Warriors: *shrugs* What _didn't_ I do?

Legend: The pretty boy might be a Captain, but he's a Link. Now, let's see your history of lawbreaking.

Minutes later...

Twilight: What the fuck is Bweezlebwonking?

Warriors: Oh, it's when you take your wanted poster, climb onto some goody two shoes of a soldier's shoulders, and start screaming and beating them up for it.

The others (again, minus Time): *staring at him with WTF faces*

Warriors: It hadn't happened before and they didn't have a name for it in the royal family's court, so I named the crime for them. Four, Wind, I recommend you try this. It's really fun. I taught the kneecaps murderer how to do it. Came in handy when there were traitors to destroy.

Legend: How did you make Captain?

Warriors: *as proudly as possible* I don't know!

Time: Hey, Bweezlebwonking is lots of fun, I'll have you know. Shame I'm six feet tall now. (or that's how tall I'm guessing he is)

Warriors: Hey, I remember this one! *smiles fondly at a page that's the most shiny*

Twilight: *looks at page* Charged with corrupting the princess to break the law with you?

Warriors: Best date _ever_. I told her we'd tell everyone she was corrupted, but it was her own free will. If you guys tell anyone, I will have your beds in my Hyrule be behind bars. Trust me, they've had to upgrade them until I couldn't get free. They've had to for eighteen years.

Legend: How do you break the law as a baby?!

Warriors: I stole the lightest thing I could find and spit up on the queen. 

Legend: I never thought I'd say this, but I'm beginning to respect you.

Wild: You licked the king's ear as well?!?!

Twilight: As well?

Time: I don't see this one, but have you guys disturbed a grave? It's so much fun. I recommend it.

* * *

Extra bonuses:

Hero's Shade: *slams open treehouse door* LINK!

Twilight: Yes? *scared out of his mind*

Hero's Shade: I need to teach you how to dig up a grave! l forgot it was my biggest regret not to teach anyone how!

Twilight: How do you forget something like that?!

Hero's Shade: It's been hundreds of years!

Sky: Nobody has ever kidnapped birds before?!

Four: In everyone's defense, we didn't have an entire town with loftwings to kidnap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kneecaps murderer=Young Link


	77. Hylia’s Heroes, cats- what’s the difference?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I happen to be a proud member of the “Links are cats” club, so here’s a chapter about it.

The Links hate vacuum cleaners, should they ever see one, but surprisingly, most of them don’t mind water.

Catnip affects them, and Ilia and Colin love to use it on Twilight. He didn’t ever mind, he actually likes the feeling.

They like attention from their significant others and will whine and cling onto them if they do not get said attention. 

Wild and Hyrule will climb trees and then are not able to climb down.

Time is a very purry Hylian around Malon. His purring is also insanely loud. 

Marin loved Legend acting like a cat, but it got old when he nuzzled into her, demanding her to massage his head. She did provide him with a head massage.

Wind loves water as long as he wants to get wet. 

Warriors will place random objects he found in Zelda’s room and waits until he gets praise. 

Four will meow, yes, meow longingly whenever he sees a mirror and will rub his head against it.

Sky will sit and watch drama going on around him.

Also, when they’re scared/alert/angry/etc., their hair will poof up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two cats and I can say, having been around cats for all my life, that cats are lovable lil shits. They really are fun to take pictures of though. The cat who likes me shows every sign cats have for loving their owner.  
> Surprisingly, I knew a cat who loved water and would play around. He especially loved faucets.


	78. Random Four one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did I do this one already?

Four doesn’t sleep unless whatever clothes he doesn’t wear to bed are folded very neatly. Nobody is too surprised by this.   
  


It is Blue that insists on this to happen. If they do this, then he usually sleeps better. And if he doesn’t sleep well, it’s migraine time!


	79. Four deserves a scene referencing Ant Man

Imagine Minish Four fighting some tiny villain and it’s in the grass looking all serious. Then, one of the other Links looks over and lo and behold is tinier Four holding a very tiny fire rod and charging said villain with a hilariously small fire being set off.   
  


Jojo, I am begging you. Make something like this happen. 


	80. Roller

Everyone has rollers for Wild’s hair and Wolfie’s fur. It’s insane how much hair will get on their clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got my sister involved in the LU. Hyrule is Thor with a Crop Top and Legend is Nymphadora Tonks.


	81. I call for a toast!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For nine idiots who hate a lot of people, this must have happened at some point, right?

The nine Links are drunk.

Time: I call for a toast- Fuck the Sheikah!

Everyone else: Fuck the Sheikah. *clinks glasses and takes a swig*  
  


The drunken Links don’t know what a toast is.


	82. Gender Identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is really just me thinking things over by canon.

While the Links are boys and the creators do say this, we also know that Link fits into every player, so in that case, that’s really up to the player’s decision.

Four would go by they/them pronouns regardless, but doesn’t really explain it.


	83. Modern AU thing I thought of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s turn COVID-19 into a joke.

Wind: So, there’s the coronavirus and there’s a beer called corona.

Wild: Yeah, what’s your point?

Wind: What if it gives us COVID and kills us?

Wild: What if it doesn’t?

Wind: Special treatment and food in the hospital.

The Links: *chugging Corona*


	84. Random idea that made me start cackling

Four in a car, but Minish sized, in a cup holder 


	85. Idk if I already added this

The Links will have a conversation with each other in their sleep. It doesn’t make sense most of the time, but it’s hilarious to listen too. 

At Lon Lon Ranch, Malon couldn’t stop laughing, even though it kept her up all night.

I shall now allow the reader to make up one in the comments, partially because I’m too lazy to write one out myself.


	86. No homo or transphobia

There isn't homophobia in Hyrule because everyone's so used to it, that they hardly bat an eye when they see a same sex couple. There aren't any pride parades either. Transgender folks (please correct me if this is an incorrect term, I don't really know) aren't really as common to see around places, to explain the BOTW Link's surprise when he saw the she looked more like a he.

And before you ask, yes, the Gerudo allow in transfemale persons. 


	87. Legend= Soft Pretzel

Seems very salty, but is actually very soft on the inside.


	88. Driving headcanons.

Time: This man's driving is perfect. It's impressive he follows one law.

Twilight: Twilight drives really slowly. It. Is. Painful. Everyone would be in the background, yelling at him to step on it. He isn't a getaway driver.

Warriors: Will go out of his way to drive ten over on normal streets and 20 over on the highway. He will go out of his way to hit stuff if he passes a house belonging to someone he doesn't like, and has an amazing collection of tickets in his glove compartment, side pockets, and just anywhere you could think of in a car. He doesn't pay them off ever.

Wild: Drives like there's no tomorrow. He is banned from driving, unless someone needs a getaway driver, and he drives without caution.

Legend: This man is Satan ~~anywhere, anytime, any situation~~ on the road. If he has a lot of people behind him, he will go at 1 mph and he won't pull over, no matter what. He sometimes will hit the brake just to scream at people. He's also the type of person to go really slow, allowing protesters to climb on his car and try to beat up the car before driving at the highest speed said car can go. 

Sky: This guy drove two miles before the instructor passed him. He also is loved by the cops.

Hyrule: Mr. Overly Cautious. Will stop when the light is yellow, will wait ten hours to take a turn, drives slower than Twilight. 

Wind: Is the type of person who doesn't want to wait for their permit and started driving down the road.

Four: He drives okay, but he needs a booster seat to see and he also needs to be really close to touch the pedals. 


	89. Marin

Imagine:

Marin still living in Warriors’ era.

Legend: I loved someone once.

Everyone: Shut the front door- who?!

Legend: *not really meaning to say* Marin.

Warriors: I know a girl named Marin. She said she knew a Link.

Legend: What does she look like?

Warriors: Red hair, has a hibiscus flower in her hair that never dies, has a dress that she never changes out of, jumps stupidly far distances, and comments on a different Link’s awful ocarina playing. 

Legend: Where does she live?

Warriors: Very close to the castle.

Legend: Captain, I will hate myself for saying this, but you’re the best person ever.


	90. Warriors

Warriors is kinda like Sherlock Holmes in the ‘I know everything, yet I actually own 1/2 a brain cell when you think about it’ way.


	91. Wild is Gollum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: My brother thinks he's Gollum. Wild reminds me a lot of my brother from the whole chaotic feral gremlin who is able to eat trash thing.

Should Wild ever discover who Gollum is, there will be a lot of stealing Legend's rings and stroking it while calling it 'My precious'.

There are also Gollum runs, Twilight trying to decide whether to laugh or facepalm, and Wild killing and cooking fish while singing Gollum's fish song.


	92. Sky getting everyone scared

Now, here’s the thing, Sky isn’t a person people are scared of when they’re friends with him. Every enemy of his should be, but Sky can only be scary when he starts hysterically laughing when nobody says anything. And that’s because he runs scenarios through his head. So he’ll be caught laughing at one at a random dinner and will keep cackling when he sees everyone’s scared expressions. It doesn’t just scare the Links, it scares his Zelda and Groose, to the point where if Sky would laugh randomly as a kid, Groose would get scared and leave him alone for the rest of the day. 


	93. Sky to Ghirahim at this point.

Ghirahim sees Sky in Warriors’s Hyrule and decides to attack them. Sky, having none of this and 100% done with the gay crackhead, goes up to him and says, “Oh go and fuck your giant ass body pillow of Demise, you shitty tongue fetish sword.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note- I got nothing against gay people. I know a few homosexuals and they’re good people. So, just to get that out there.


	94. Why am I thinking about this- this isn't a headcanon!

Something I thought of when watching YGOTAS:

Us fangirls: Jojo, did you make sure that at least one of the Links had a sexy pose in your update?

Jojo: *sends out an update* Yeah!

Us: Thank _goodness_ for that! It was vitally necessary!


	95. When Wild gets a memory of a funny moment in his life...

Wild had 'woken up' from another flashback and started cackling. Twilight removed every single weapon and means of creating fire from the feral gremlin. 

"Wild, buddy, are you okay?" Hyrule asked, only to get a glare from Legend.

"Let me rephrase that. Wild, are you normal in your own way or more mentally unwell than normal?"

Wild composed himself to look at Hyrule in the eye and said, with a very clear struggle to keep from laughing:

"Master Kohga is gonna kill all of us to death."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a month, just a month, just a month, just a month, just a month, just a month, just a month, just a month...  
> *Fangirl screeches*  
> The end is going to be upsetting, but hey! I'm loving the trailers. The voice actors sound amazing for their roles, there's a cool looking new villain who looks like what I'd picture the gay offspring of Ghirahim and Vaati.
> 
> Beware of Master Kohga. He's gonna kill all of us... to death! 
> 
> I mean, what are we going to learn next from killing you is death? The sky is blue? Unreal!


	96. Something I just realized and it hasn't stopped bothering me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly a headcanon, but I haven't posted in a while, so...

Okay, so I got to thinking. Link goes out, usually, if not always, under the age of adulthood, for a kingdom that's already wasting away under its own stupidity and a curse he shouldn't have anything to do with. He's the middle man for a royalty feud that will never get dissolved because nobody will focus on how to break the stupid curse. Link ruins his own life by becoming a murderer, a liar, a thief, and commits vandalism. He watches his own friends die, usually because of the feud; and tears himself apart for it. He doesn't sleep, and he's forced to take on a responsibility he doesn't want. He solves several things for other people as side quests, and he has to save the world over and over again when he already wanted to live a peaceful life. Link lives a life of Hell from the moment he's born, and (in Time's case) dies a canon horrible death, having to wait for hundreds of years before he can move on. And what do any of the Links get from the people in return? 

Pretty much nothing beneficial. Seriously, think about it. Whoever accompanied them usually leaves because of something really _really_ stupid. And then, there's the royal family who forced him into this mess because they don't have the backbone to fix it themselves. And yet, he gets mistreated and abandoned. He gets literally

The only time I can really think of Link actually getting something in return for all his hard work, or even during is Zelda sometimes helping, but in the way background, and if she has all that going on for her, why can't she just take care of Ganon herself? 


	97. How to make Zelda's eyes twitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, both of them.   
> And her ears twitch. And how to make her feel like her entire supply of booze isn't nearly enough.

Whenever the Links have a crisis, it doesn't matter, they will go put on war paint, put on barbarian-y clothes, speak in the secret Hero's language all of them coded and signed by pricking their thumbs and marking a contract (Sky takes it home with him and stores it in a time capsule where only he and the other Links know where it is- their hoarding cave), then they go wherever and commit a mass genocide of grass and pots with a screechy war cry from either Four or Wind. 

And if you're wonder, yes, if Four is split, all of them (even Vio), screech as one.

This is how it goes:

Zelda: *hears a screech from outside and a bunch of screaming.* *goes to a random balcony*

The sight she's greeted by is the Links speaking in what can only be best described as cave man language to each other, civilians trying to escape and pot shards everywhere.

Impa: *sees the chaos* Shall I get the overdosed tranquilizers, highness?

Zelda: And any soldiers and monsters to set out as bait. We'll also need to prepare the excessive restraints, and quite possibly the nets to capture them. If all else fails, send a message to Link's house as soon as you can. The only people who ever really go there are the few people who can get Link out of his feral gremlin wild barbarian attitude.

Malon, Ravio, any random friend who happened to drop by, Proxi, Grandma and Aryll, everyone in Ordon, Groose, and/or Four's grandpa: Oh, no. Not again.

Let's admit it. How can't any of the Links be feral?

Time grew up in a forest filled with immortal children, Wild was alone and has no memories (we gave him the name feral wild child for a reason), Twilight is a wolf, Warriors went into war illegally (yes, he did. At the beginning, it's mentioned that the trainees had to stay there, but he ran into battle anyways ~~because it's a universal law that the hero is an idiot~~ ), Legend is probably wanted all over in his Hyrule, Hyrule, the Link, is what can be best described as a cave man, Sky spent time alone in realms that made him go crazy, Four has four people he can divide into and they're all feral, and Wind is a damned pirate. If none of this is enough proof, what kind of person does half of those side quests. Who would waste their time searching for _bugs all frickin day_ in real life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so, to all my glorious readers, I've made myself my own story. It was a long, long project I decided to do earlier this year. It's written in video game style. It's called Insidiae. You can find it on Wattpad, Quotev, and my account. Please, please read it.   
> Spoilers if you do, the next chapter I'm writing has a vampire raccoon named Commander Chief Captain Parzival General Chaos More.   
> That's just how you know the book is great.


	98. Legend and cleaning his house

To tell the truth, he really struggles, so the Links 'help' him. By help, I mean, they throw some things away, and others they steal for themselves.

There's the fact that he looks through his house like 'do I wanna conquer this beast?' *looks through his junk* 'No, no I do not.' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last part is me and my inbox here on Ao3. Seriously.   
> I can also personally relate to Legend on being a hoarder. Why is it so hard to throw away a present that was given to me three years ago that's broken and something I would never be seen using? Why do I keep all my makeup, even though I never use it and I have no idea how to apply it?   
> To both those answers- no idea.


	99. Sibling relationship scenario that happened. Totally, definitely

Wind *looking for Legend in the woods*: Legend! If you don't answer, I'm gonna cry!

Legend *peeking out from behind a tree*: Well, then, don't soak your pillow.

Wind: *gasp* You _care_ about me! Oh my goodness!


	100. Prolly already used this one, but I’ll say it again

The Links did not name Wild for his title of Hero of the Wild. No, it came from him crawling out of the forest and dragging Four with him back into said forest by holding his ankle between his teeth. When the others found them, Wild snarled and hissed at them, only to be brought down by the power of Time’s spray bottle.


	101. Hylia and Sky shenanigans

Hylia: Hello, Heroes of Courage. We're in the distant future, and my husband is rapidly losing his patience with me.

Time: Your husband?

Four: Who?

Wild: How can you tell?

Hylia: Because he prayed to me fifty times today, and he also wrote on _my temple_ in big letters. On the outside, he wrote 'Get your cute butt down here, sweetheart.' I don't think I can say what he drew on the inside.

Sky: *returning and seeing Hylia* Hello, honey.

Hylia: Sleepyhead, was drawing _that_ on my _sacred temple walls_ _**really**_ necessary?

Sky: Yes :D

Time: How are you sure Hylia is your Zelda?

Sky: You'd recognize your wife in the same way.

Time: If you're implying...

Sky: Hm?

Hylia: Ah, that was fantastic after so many years.

Sky and Hylia kissing

Wild: Sky, are you-

Wild: Oh, kissing. Ew, you know how gross that is?

Wild: Okay, not paying attention.

Wind: Just observe. It's weird how both are still alive, how they haven't eaten each other's faces...

Wild: How obvious it is Hylia didn't get out...

Sky: Hey, love, can you _please_ go easy on the heroes from now on?

Hylia: I can't really-

Sky: Honey, they all have not shut up about how the goddesses ruin their lives. I think you at least owe them that.

Hylia: Damn, sleepyhead, you know how to get what you want.

Sky: And you love that.

Hylia: Honey, I need some energy from the master sword, can you power me up?

Sky: *obliges in a nonsuggestive way*

Twilight: Oh, wow, Sky, you really powered her up.

Sky: *praying to Hylia* And if you could take out the laundry in the distant past when we're married...

Hylia: *hysterical laughter*

Hylia: Oh, you just wait until my husband comes with his reincarnations. 

Sky: *bursts through the door* Hey sweetie, it's been a while.

Sky: *casually kicks the door open* Hey, babe, I'm home!

Sun: Must you always be so dramatic?

Sky: *praying* Are you mad at my reincarnations for any particular thing I did-

Time: So, you settled down with a reincarnated goddess?

Sky: She had a crush on me before I even caught on to what crushes were. And she wanted to do the settling down first, so don't blame me!

Time: I get the feeling we're talking about different settling down's.

Sky: Oh, you were talking about pg lounge chair settling down. Okay.

Sky: Like, did I leave the milk out too many times-

Twilight: Can you two not be so adorable? It's blinding.

Legend: Sky, stop kissing your wife.

Sky: Did I leave the toilet seat up? Did I not let you shop long enough? I thought twelve hours was long enough-

Time: Ah, young love. It's adorable.

Sky and Hylia: *being couply* (Idk, I've always been a single pringle, don't sue me for never dating! I don't know how these things work!)

Legend: It's so damn bright.


	102. For what?

Time: *draws Biggoron sword*

Sky: Compensating?

Wind: For what?

Sky: Reincarnation's through our soul. Physical being... that's up for chance.


	103. Could focus on Finals.... but norpe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the 'r' was intentional. Please be nice to my comment section.  
> Also, if this makes anyone uncomfortable, sorry 'bout that.

I was having a peaceful Friday, when suddenly, halfway during studying and catching up (before the fifteenth aka the END OF THE SEMESTER, might I add), I had this idea of what if the Links were bad guys in a modern au (not the darks, just the Links) and what kind of people would they be? The first weird thought was: Oh, Hyrule (the place) is SCREWED. Second thought was: how did it come to this? Third was: They all only get along because they know they need each other to take over and to go beyond that. Fourth: Time is the father of Twilight and Wild; Hyrule and Legend are brothers; Warriors is Wind's cousin who would protect him at all costs; Sky found Four in the gutters and now they're friends. Fifth: They all _hate_ the Zeldas and Ganon. Ganon is the leader of a gang the Zeldas are focused on fighting. Sixth idea: If someone made this into a fanfiction, that person is amazing (you cannot believe how much I want to see it)

Time: Still the leader/tired, he's a great Dad and sweet to his wife, but can and would kill anyone who gets in his way. Very angry man, but coordinated and uses his brain ~~most of the time~~. Is so dangerous that a sighting of him would make people flee for their lives (they usually don't get too far). Corrupted.

Twilight: Cold and calculating. Likes to play around with his prey before killing. More on the least merciful side. Can still turn into Wolfie, but usually to tear people apart. There's no escaping him if he doesn't like you. Puts up a nice guy suit when he's acting normal. Stick in the mud ~Wild. Responsible -_- -Time. WILL NOT KILL KIDS, he's super soft when it comes to children. Abandoned.

Wild: Death of a thousand cuts guy. Is the kind of person to torture his victims and leave them in an open area to scar the city. Pyromaniac. Is a lot like Joker in the 'I'mma try to break the people I really hate, or make them drop to rock bottom while destroying every moral for them until they snap.' Will blow places up on a regular Tuesday. Completely insane and Time usually has to hold him in a straitjacket. Left to die by his friends.

Warriors: Puts on a proud playboy front to make people under estimate him, but is so calculating and coordinated that it scares people. Knows exactly how to get under a person's skin, super manipulative, is very good at being anonymous and only frames people close to the person his anger is directed at. Very, very rich with a charming front when he's not out murdering. Took Wind in, but doesn't involve him unless the boy wants to. Is Time's partner in crime. Time was his babysitter. Abused and betrayed. 

Legend: Hates everyone and isn't scared to say so. Least merciful of all the boys when his anger is directed towards someone. He's broken the law and got away with it each time. Used to be good, a very 'look at the monster you made' guy. Misses his uncle and girlfriend. Has to live far underground so nobody can catch him. Cautious and careful. Doesn't want to lead gangs. Keeps Hyrule with him and will protect him with his life. He doesn't have a civilian life since he hates people. Very powerful and very dangerous. Ravio is his helper. The Zeldas got his uncle killed and he accidentally killed his girlfriend (yes, he has a Darth Vader costume... somewhere). 

Hyrule: Legend's younger brother. Commits crimes when he wants. Legend's partner (but always does the easier stuff). He's the only one who sees Legend's good side all the time. When people see him as a civilian, he puts up a sweet, innocent front. Chaos BFFs are Wind and Wild. Dangerous and completely psychotic. Sweetens up to the Zeldas so Legend can get more of a perspective on what they're doing and how much they know. Uncle's death, labrat.

Wind: Kills in any way possible but loves to drown people. Joins Wild and Hyrule on their adventures. Wants to save his sister from Ganon. Ganon killed his grandma and kidnapped his sister, and Wind is back for _revenge_. Sadistic child. People don't know he's a criminal, they just think he's stuck in a room with the terrible world that's out to get him, but it's vice versa. On Warriors's guidance, mostly because Warriors actually wants to help, but also because, he tricked Tetra into becoming friends with him and they're just using her. Snapped after witnessing a murder and kidnapping without anyone doing anything about it. 

Sky: Hates Sun with all his heart, hates the Sheikah. Very evil, is ten times worse than Demise. He's lazy, but he can work when he's truly motivated. Took Four from a gang. Kills without purpose, uncontrollable. Twisted and sadistic. Threatens to blow up the city once a week (he will do it, but the faces of the terrified people is always worth a laugh that he can't help but savor every moment. And do it a lot (if people aren't threatened, he'll commit murder to remind them why he's scary). Time adds chains and anchors to the straitjacket. Tortured into insanity. 

Four: Has four personalities with twisted effects. Red is still emotional and innocent, but he will lead people to their deaths on instruction, Blue is angry and feral and is the one to kill, Vio gives the instructions, and Green is the one who chooses who to kill. Sticks with Sky, but kills anyone they want. Completely, undeniably insane. He can shrink, yes, but he uses it to go places unnoticed and to hide from anyone coming his way. Saw his brother get killed (yes, Shadow would be his brother, so sue me). He can bring Sky into a slightly less crazed and more agreeable state.

Ravio: Not a fighter, but spy for hire. Only people he would never betray are the Links, since they do offer him protection, and occasionally, they allow him a kill or two. Angry man. Runs a black market, and Legend steals things from him. Ravio is _not_ a tool for Legend or someone Legend is using- Legend offers him endless protection and a spot at his place should Ravio ever be found out. Legend and Ravio are best friends. Hurt by his love and controlled by hatred.

Malon: Not evil. She doesn't approve of her husband's or sons' schemes, but she genuinely loves them. They were broken, and while they're angry with the world, she wants to help save it from the rage of the Links. She doesn't like the Zeldas or Ganon. She is the only person Time, Twilight, and Wild are mentally stable around. Also, she has her own means of controlling them (a water gun). Time loves her so much. Like, a lot. Malon's only condition on staying with them is that they don't kill everyone. 


	104. Poor Twi

Twilight was born with extreme out-of-control anxiety, OCD, and paranoia. It can go extremely haywire and would make him cry out of frustration as a child. Rusl found out that if Twilight had animals near him, everything usually would be manageable. 

He doesn't want the other Links knowing, so when it becomes too close to bursting than he's comfortable, he turns into Wolfie to calm down. Yes, it happens everyday, but Wild, Legend, Hyrule, Time, and Wind exist.


	105. Wind trying to play matchmaker

Wind goes to the Battle of the Eras when he's fifteen, and has seen Warriors and Artemis together. However, Warriors fully believes Artemis is a lesbian during that entire war when Artemis actually has a _huge_ crush on him. Wind can't stop laughing and tells each and every Link from Linked Universe (even Warriors, just to tease him), and poor future Warriors gets a bunch of mail of the Links teasing him.

The funniest bit is that it took two years, the other Links, and Impa to make Warriors see that Artemis actually likes him.


	106. CDI and Cartoon Link

The Links are struggling with what to call CDI Link and Cartoon Link, mostly because the names they have are rather long.

For CDI Link it's between "Shove off a cliff at the first opportunity" or "The Debate of Whether or Not Time should let Wolfie maul a Link".

For Cartoon Link, we have "Tape the Mouth Closed because while he's useful, he's an annoying, whiny, overly sadistic bitch" or "If he comes near my Zelda, screw the Master Sword, I will rip him apart with my bare hands (Sky, NO)". 

Put your votes in the comments!


	107. The inevitable chapter of Wild=rabies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Master_Torch_Master for (probably) unknowingly encouraging this. You get credit for the first two scenarios too, so thanks for that as well!

From my one shots, I have played with the idea of Wild is a carrier of rabies. Legend joked with the idea, completely unknowing Wild actually does and everyone else kept it as their inside joke that Wild has rabies and that is their secret weapon.

One night, a Yiga member tries to kill a half awake on watch Wild when he bites his hand. Everyone is woken up by the screams and the twitching of the Yiga guy with bloody foam coming out of his mouth. While there’s no rush at all to help this guy, everyone’s actually surprised, both to the fact that he’s got rabies and the fact that their surprised. Twilight takes Wild to the river to clean out his mouth. (Or just gives him mouth wash)

Time, meanwhile has an observation of a cycle. Wild tries to infect random people with rabies when he’s mad or frustrated, Time brings out the spray bottle of doom (yes, Malon has used it on him and Talon), Wild screeches and hides behind Twilight, Wild stays good for a bit, repeat. 

Wild can only use his rabies when he’s in a battle, and not on any of the Links. He also won’t die from rabies himself, though his bites and scratches kill. 

Hyrule carries a mild case of rabies, but his magic tones it down. 

Twilight is very susceptible to rabies.

Time thinks the whole thing is funny.


	108. Super powers au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scraping from the bottom of the barrel now folks. And I totally screwed up that saying.

Time: Time (the common noun, not Link) is literally his plaything. He can slow down, stop, speed forward, go back or forward in time. Oh, and turning into a wolf, though he rarely uses it. He has this old power of an old war god that's hard to control, but if he's targeting someone, there's nowhere to run.

Twilight: Turning into a wolf, super strength, wolf senses, Time's time powers but not nearly as powerful, he has Malon's braincells (that counts as a power, right?)

Wild: Pyrokinesis (we are all doomed), super strength, quick healing, slowing down time

Four: Pyrokinesis, flight, hydrokinesis, terrakinesis (those depend on his personality), size manipulation, can split himself 

Wind: Flight, weather, super speed, puns, able to cause storms inside, controls the wind

Warriors: Shapeshifting (don’t ask, just go with it), able to imitate any living thing he sees, hears, etc., can turn himself into a weapon (think Envy turning his arm into sharp objects from fma/fmab), can copy people's powers

Sky: Flight, can manipulate gravity/air pressure/oxygen (that might not seem powerful, but when you think about it, Sky could get rid of the oxygen in Hyrule and kill everyone), can fly anything, manipulates magnetic waves (compasses are terrible around him)

Legend: can turn anything of his imagination real (he can never starve, never run out of items, create an entire person just by thinking it), turns into pink bunny, sarcasm (the most powerful thing ever, millions are burned by his venom), telekinesis, mind control (he's terrified of that power, and never uses it), can create two duplicates of himself

Hyrule: telekinesis, telepathy, summoning lightning, healing, turns into fairy, laser vision just because, magic to the fullest,

Hyrule and Legend are siblings, adopted by Time because he can’t stop to think on his impulses, Legend is the older and insists on keeping Marin as real. Hyrule wears glasses fight me (actually please don’t), Legend loves Marin so much, she knows about the bunny, Hyrule loves the bunny, Marin and Hyrule leave for one second and the house is in ruins with the remains of the furniture floating, doors opening on their own and Legend to the point of losing it. Legend has his issues. Hyrule clings to Legend in the store like a koala, Hyrule and Wild are bffs, Legend is genuinely scared, Legend’s sarcasm is a venom on its own, Legend tries to speak and everyone shouts over him, Hyrule will read Legend’s mind and glare at him, Hyrule gets sick and Legend teleports to him. Legend really is legendary- legs and NO DAIRY. Local headlines- man denies being lactose intolerant and pays the price (Hyrule: Look Legend, you’re on the cover of the news! Legend: *filling the toilet with vomit* Hell yeah, I am! Hyrule: Mortality toll- seven? LEGEND! Legend: How else was I supposed to get rid of the news reporters? I needed breathing room), Hyrule is a lost puppy, Legend is sixteen and Hyrule is fifteen.

Time, Twilight, and Wild are biological family- the super strength is from Malon, Time loves his wife so much, Time is the best dad, Time freezes time just to find Wild when he gets his stupid and chaotic ass lost in the store, Twilight will be therapy illegally owned wild animal dog forever, Twilight is a good boyfriend, Wild is chaotic and so he sleeps in the freezer (not really, but after two houses set on fire...), Wild will set fire to things and Twilight is this close to disowning him and leaving him in the coldest region on Earth-, Twilight loves his brother and would tear off his own arm if it meant Wild’s safety, Time is guilty of the chaotic gremlin genes in Wild your honor, Time is on his seventeenth cup of espresso that he’s had.. that second, Time is an insomniac and both sons hate him for having it as well (jk, they all care about each other), Wild is GROUNDED from sugar/caffeine for life, Twilight=let me adopt all kitties or die, Wild is night owl (insert Wild screaming WHO all night on the roof and Twilight occasionally opening the window and giving him a death glare. (Malon has idiot husband/son senses and drags them out of stores (Wild: Mom, I found a flamethrower! Malon: No.)) Time is who knows how old, Twilight is seventeen, and Wild is destructive fifteen-year-old gremlin, Twilight has braincells, Wild and Time are insane uncontained, Twilight is insane contained. Time is the only person who knows when someone is actually Warriors (every _single_ **_time_** )

Sky is a second cousin of Time’s, he has a cool, extremely rich girlfriend (maybe fiancé), drinks his respect trees juice, stays awake by drinking a dangerous amount of caffeine to stay awake, listens to everyone, has asthma ironically, steals planes all the time, will kill someone if they say he only loves Sun because she has money, turns into melty Hylian when he’s with Sun, murdered once and can’t get it out of his head, has easily sunburn skin and would fail at trying to sunbathe, can swim can’t get therapy, has ten birds and they love him, can speak bird language, Sky is a good friend, Sky accidentally hurts people and hates his powers because of it, is a cinnamon roll but is very dangerous, he’s got a good job and everyone loves him, scared of his ex’s dad, Ghirahim is his ex, Sky is nineteen years old

Warriors is Time’s brother by adoption. While Warriors is the big brother even though Time was mentally twenty-five when they met, Warriors’s shapeshifting keeps him looking how he wants and so everyone looks at the physically twenty-one year old to the forty year old wondering how that’s possible, Warriors is a good uncle and sibling, he’s got himself a good girlfriend who keeps the crazy ex away with a broom, his real look is the boss outfit from his game and I will die with this headcanon, the man keeps himself twenty-one because it’s a fun age for him, he accidentally gives himself gray hair whenever Legend, Wild, Hyrule, Wind, and/or Four (in his angry chaotic hydrokinesis or pyrokinesis arson persona) come in the room, he’s got dirt on everyone. He and Time ran away together and hid in Malon's barn.

Wind and Four are cousins living in foster care and Sky’s first cousins. Four lives with the paternal grandpa, Wind and Aryll live with maternal grandma. Wind gets angry=thunderstorms for days or in extreme cases=tornadoes or hurricanes, Four’s personality changes by the minute normally and when fighting, it’s the most convenient personality at the moment, Wind and Four are a duo, Wind and Four are neighbors, they have conversations by screaming at each other out the open windows, Wind falls out windows all the time, Four has a migraine and is used to it by now, Four created a protect the mice foundation, he also could destroy business after business but doesn’t, Wind’s puns make everyone laugh, Four is tired, Wind doesn’t run often, Wind literally will get on a boat and use his powers to go to a different continent, Wind: prepare the boat! We go at 1000 miles per second! Four: Wind, it’s 1000 nautical miles, Four breaks kneecaps on hire, Wind talks to fish, Four sets things on fire with Wild, Four is fourteen, Wind is thirteen. I'm not sure if Shadow should exist, but in this au, I’d make him Four’s brother.

Extra characters

Malon: She has incredible strength, but it isn't exactly a super power, since she's a farmer and works out. Super awesome mom. Best wife to a man with 0.0000000000001 braincells. Malon is an amazing sister-in-law and wife. 


	109. Warriors being Captain Link

Warriors: But why do I have the braincell?

Legend: Because you're employed and the only one of us who completed school.

Warriors: Yes, but why am I required to hold the braincell? Why can't Four?

Time: Because, Four is an arsonist, his anger issues are off the chart, he goes instinctively crazy, and he's very twisted. He can change that within a blink of an eye.

Warriors: I have come to pick up my idiot family.

Guard: *shows him to a cell* 

Warriors: There's a portal. Let's get moving.

Time: **_YOU'RE THE ONE WHO THREW US IN HERE_**!!!!!!!

Warriors: I can sense the intentions of arson and chaos.

Legend: Dammit, how'd you know?

Warriors: When Wild, took out the torch, I knew it was time my magic rod had another use.

Time: You hit me over the head the hardest! I got a concussion!

Warriors: You were a gremlin, terrorized the army, left me without warning, and kept me waiting to see you again for five years.

Time: A concussion!

Legend: Why should I come with you? I don't even know any of you! And you don't know me!

Warriors: I know your name is Link, you've been on multiple adventures, and you're a grouchy child because one adventure ended badly. I'm guessing it has something to do with a romance ending on a bad note. You're almost eighteen, you have no family left except for a sibling I'm guessing you had no idea existed as your sibling until a few years ago, but you won't talk to... her because you know you'll explode on her for your trauma she gave you in the first place. You need therapy but you don't go because you don't want to put all that on someone else's shoulders. You've been to several different countries and while you thought it was neat, you weren't extremely impressed, but that's only because the government and the guards are shitty. Your friend gave you that bracelet and it helped you through one adventure, I'm guessing more of a curse, so you feel you might be in his debt. You like your friend but your trauma makes you scared to admit it because you're expecting him to be tragically killed so you don't want to get attached. Hm, it looks like you can also turn yourself into a-

Legend: *covers his mouth* Alright, let's go! 

Time: Before he uncovers all of our secrets.

Warriors: *muffled* I was actually 7% sure all that was accurate, but it seems I'm spot on.

Wild: So we rush in-

Warriors: No, we need a plan. There's several other monsters hiding in the woods. It seems they're expecting us.

Wind: Okay, how do you know that?

Warriors:... Wind, they're hiding on those branches. Why do you think we're in the bushes where they can't see us?

Time: *motions to stop*

Warriors: *knowing everything will be fine and Time's just a weirdo* *walks past Time*

Warriors: Welcome to my Hyrule.

Wild: It's too clean!

Hyrule: Should we-

Legend: Find the Captain's house and trash it?

All but Warriors: YES

Warriors: Nope.

Wild: What are you going to do?

Warriors: *pulls out Time's spray bottle* 

Wild: Oh, shi-

Warriors: *sprays Wild*

Wild: TWILIGHT, HELP ME! THE ACID! IT BUUUUURNS!

Warriors: I didn't know vinegar felt like that, but okay.

Wild: So, I have this plan-

Warriors: *covers his mouth* Anyone else?

Wild: *raises hand* *muffled* I have a plan!

Warriors: Besides Wild?

Warriors: *has been home for two hours* Cadets, show me how you bring out your inner gremlins!

Impa: Is Link telling them to be gremlins again?

Zelda: Yes :D


	110. Definitely, totally, true. No arguments necessary

Sky is totally the guy who would be like: "Ah, yes, those guys. They are unsophisticated and useless. All they do is throw a ball and suddenly they're rich. So, who are we talking about again?"


	111. Wild may need a drink

Alright, so, I saw something on Tumblr that Wild finds his sister who’s now an old woman obviously. So, I was sitting in bed and realized, what if his sister got married and had a child who got married and had children of their own. That would make Wild their great uncle. 

After making this realization, I ate cheese curds and nearly choked when I realized: 

Wild: You’re my niece, and that makes them my... (wild.exe has stopped working)

Twilight comforts Wild.

Grand niece: Um, sir, I think my great uncle may want a drink or two.

Four: *trying to deal with this nonsense* Me too...


	112. Poor Time

Time, to the boys after they return from some random goose chase Time sent them on: You may be wondering why Twilight is dying in the corner. We were talking to some people in the village and they asked me what my name is.

Time as Twilight cackles louder: I didn’t want to go by the name Link because there’s already Legend in this Hyrule and I didn’t want to say Time in case of shenanigans. So, I freaked out and said ‘I’m Dad.’

Twilight: *wiping tears from his eyes* He then got confused when I started laughing. It took him two minutes to realize it, but when he finally did, the damage was done. >:D


	113. I can't get this imagery out of my head

Malon: I'm pretty sure when you say you fought the moon, that the others think you mean that you challenged the moon until you decided it was a coward, and called yourself the victor.

Time:....

Time, five days ago: NOT SO HIGH AND MIGHTY NOW, ARE YOU? HA! I AM VICTORIOUS! I FOUGHT YOU AND I WON!

Legend: Old Man.... wtf are you doing?


	114. Four is four

Alright, so Four, right? He acts serious, but we all know he's four creatures of chaos in a trenchcoat. And I wanted to take a minute, not just from chugging caffeine nonstop *takes a sip*, but also because I read the Four Swords manga (for the seventeenth time (hey, car rides with limited things to do and a nearly dead phone will make you find ways to entertain yourself)).

So, Four has the strength of four men; he's an arsonist, an evil genius, an explosion waiting to happen, and a guy who shall lead his brethren to causing chaos (in order, if nobody can figure it out: Red, Vio, Blue, Green); he pretends to have common sense when he truly doesn't, if he actually could have a growth spurt (and I say this when my 60% of water has been replaced with caffeine), he'd be as tall as four of him (which if my guess is right, would be about... *pulls out a calculator*. I'd say Four's about 4'8") eighteen feet and eight inches; he's sprayed sometimes by the holder of the glorious and feared spray bottle, but he's got official spray bottle holding rights; his eyes glow in the dark with whichever color is in control, again, take this with a grain of salt, I like my caffeine; and Four has a bunch of headaches, he just doesn't show it because he's used to it.


	115. Friend issues

Due to every partner dying or straight up abandoning them, and their friends/girlfriends either not knowing who they are, dying, being put into a long sleep, and/or not talking to them, the Links have issues with friends, not that they don’t like them, but because they’re scared that if they do even one thing wrong, their friend will hate them forever. They will constantly beat themselves up about it even after the situation is sorted out.

And it doesn’t end there. They all hate themselves for leaving, and they don’t like that they’re actually having a good time, but they also feel guilty for hating that they like being with each other.


	116. A link with the Links

Much like the force, the Triforce of Courage the Links hold give them a special connection to understand each other's pain without knowing the specifics, to be able to communicate through their silence, and to have an idea of the others' personality. They call it the link, and it's hilarious at two am.


	117. Fortune telling

So, I was reading the Skyward Sword manga, and I saw that Link foretold the war long before it happened. So, I got to thinking, what if the other Links could tell the future, but they can do it in very certain conditions, like maybe it isn't often, or it can only be a big foretelling when they're all in one place. When they tell the future to onlooking people, they forget it happened, and it happens at the most random times, it can get embarrassing.

So, scenarios just because

Wild, 100 years ago: *signing* Why are you looking at me like that?

Impa: Link, you literally just told us Revali was going to trip over a stone a minute before he did.

Link: ?

Zelda: And when Impa jokingly asked if you knew her granddaughter's name, you looked right at her and said 'Paya'. 

Link: *signing* Weird name.

Time: I blanked out, what's up?

Malon: Darling, please don't tell me you're did another of your fortune telling things and you forgot again!

Link: Um, what did I say?

Malon: That you would go on another quest. Oh, and you foretold when the queen would have her daughter.

Link: But, she isn't even pregnant.

Malon: EXACTLY!

Sky, right after greeting Groose: Groose, the first of your kind, of the Gerudo, beware the fruit loops.

Groose:....Link, what the fuck are the Gerudo, and what do you mean? I love my cereal *chokes*

Link: *snapping out of it* GROOSE, AHHHHHH!!!! FRUIT LOOPS, WHY HAST THOU BETRAYED THY MASTER?!

Sun: Oh, me, why? 

Wind, having fun with Tetra: I'm sorry, what did I say this time?

Tetra: Okay, does the statement 'Eventide Island is fuckin' stupid' mean anything to you?

Link: Uh, no.

Tetra: Again?

Four: Wind waker has a grandma instead of a grandpa.

Smith: Link, are you going to finish staring over your fire rod any time soon?

Four: Sorry? What happened?

All together: *coming to an hour later with a Yiga having a meltdown* Oh no, not again.

Yiga: Nine people telling me that I'll quit my job and reform myself as Tingle's disciple. How did they know my true ambitions?


	118. First is still a Link

Hylia: My wise hero, ready to make his way in the world, to be strengthened and tested.

First: * _murdering_ pots, putting graffiti on walls, destroying the grass, worshipping cuccos and resigning himself to his leader all hail the mistress of death*

Hylia: And you're telling me he was falsely accused of something?


	119. Sleepy sleepy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone, doth my eyes deceive me? 370 kudos?! Omg, thanks to all of you!!

None of the boys want to get up into the morning since they actually have ways to be warm and the stupid morning cannot take that away-

Sky is the type of guy who'll wake up, but then spend another few hours in bed, struggling to get up because on one hand, his bed is comfortable and warm and if he gets up, he'll lose that, but on the other hand, he's got like five papers due tomorrow, so-

Unfortunately, the others have that too, even if their insomniacs, their bed is super comfortable and getting up is tooooorrrrrttttttuuuuuuurrrrrreeee

Honestly, they'd find sleeping in a prison cell comfortable. As Sky's motto says "Anywhere serves as a Link's bed, and everything shall be damned if we can't make it comfortable somehow." ( ~~Sun finding Sky sleeping on a wall and trying to figure this out for an hour until giving up~~ )

The Links do love their sleep, it's just falling asleep is hard, and the nightmares make it worse. 


	120. Social skills are nothing

Four one night: Sky?

Sky: Yes, Four?

Four: My social skills are nothing

Sky: Oh... yeah, I already know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m Four, my sister is Sky. Yes, this was a real conversation we had.


	121. Does responsible mean anything to you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am a proud owner of 2.5 braincells.  
> Nothing to do with the headcanon, I'm just proud of having some braincells, even if it isn't much.

Rando Hylian: May I ask who the responsible one of this party is?

Links: *hysterical laughter*

Time: Come back when my wife is with us.

Malon is the braincell.


	122. Lactose intolerance

Time is severely lactose intolerant, but he has no idea that’s a thing, so he just wonders why his stomach constantly hates him.

Malon has to drag him to the doctor’s office and once he’s confirmed to have a stomach that rebels dairy products, Time has three options. A. Stop drinking milk, B. Take pills to keep his lactase alright, or C. Find an alternative. If you threw in a D. None of the above and keeps drinking milk like the dumbass he is without pills, you win a prize!

Warriors had an idea Mask had shitty lactase, and would try to switch out his dairy with better alternatives (only the finest almond milk, thank you).

Once the other Links find out about Time being a stubborn dumbass who sloshes himself with milk on a daily basis, they blackmail Time to stop or they’ll tell Malon. Time keeps his milk supply secret.


	123. Modern AU because I am still drowning myself in caffeine

Time and Malon own the house. Warriors is there, because he got himself kicked out of another frat house, since he doesn't put up with their crap and decided to partake in keeping up with the nephews. Twi and Wild are Time's sons. Wind and Aryll live with their grandma because their parents are away, but they move in. Legend and Hyrule live with their uncle, and move in. THe quadruplets lived with their grandpa, and, if you've guessed, they move in. Sky's there because he doesn't want to pay for a dorm, and Malon and Time's only form of rent is to look after the boys when they can't.

Wild is the cause of a stock up of rabies shots and medicine for the inevitable migraines. Legend is who everyone knows as the 'demon cousin'. Time's spray bottle is on standby. The boys are the cause of Malon purchasing a house with a good backyard and a pool. She also got basketball hoops, golf clubs (Legend is grounded from them), pool noodles (Wild is grounded from that), flotation devices, a playhouse (she got it when she got married to Time, not because of Wild or Twilight), lounge chairs, picnic tables, and a golf cart (Wild is not allowed to drive it). Malon has poison control on speed dial because of her feral in-laws and nephews. Time has back pack leashes for each of the children (Wild's was specially made out of steel)

Aryll is about one, Wind is five; Red, Green, Blue, and Vio are seven; Wild and Hyrule are eight; Legend is nine; Twilight is eleven; Sky and Sun are eighteen; Warriors is twenty; Malon and Time are thirty-one. 

When Wild is in trouble, Twilight is automatically called down. Twilight is golden boy in school, Wild will turn up from the playground with woodchips in his hair, scratches and bruises on his face, and a knocked out tooth (possibly the wiggly one from last night). Hyrule and Wild are partners in crime and Wind is their apprentice. Aryll has a stuffed seagull. Legend has an imaginary friend named Marin (yep, that has to be included). Wild is bullied a lot.

Sky and Sun are engaged. They live in the basement. Warriors lives in the attic. Twi and Wild share a room; Legend, the quadruplets, and Hyrule share a room; Aryll and Wind share a room. Aryll and Wind are in the same room because Wind is the best at taking care of her. Legend and Hyrule have twin beds, and the other four have bunkbeds.

Time is like: Keep the coffee coming in the morning and the wine at night, and I'll be fine.

Time is a detective (the best one ever), and Malon is a veterinarian. Sky is studying to become a middle school teacher (currently, he works in a store with Sun), Sun is studying to become a lawyer (currently a store manager), and Warriors wants to host a night show.

The family has issues, yes, but they all manage ~~Malon got them expensive therapy~~. 

Wild will cuddle with Twilight sometimes. Legend is such a softie. He brought home a bunny and dyed it pink.

They all have a husky Wild named Wolfie. The garage is a safehouse for strays (Twi, no, you can't keep every single animal that comes to our garage).

Time takes one look in the living room when everyone's there and goes to Ikea for more chairs in the dining room.

Sun helps Malon control the boys. Malon loses her husband in the mall and goes: Hello, lost and found? I lost my idiot husband again.

Ravio is Legend's friend from school. Wind and Tetra are inseparable, and the teacher has tried to. Poor teach. 

Wild is the only creature who has belly flopped off the high dive and thinks it's the best thing ever. He literally can't feel pain.

There are five cars in the driveway- a minivan (Malon's), a gold highlander (Time's), a black Mercedes (Warriors's), a silver lambo (Sun's), and a white toyota (Sky's).

Wild eats (prepares the list) vacuums, brooms, packing peanuts, batteries, gum on the bottom of Twi's shoe, bark, leashes, cages, pool noodles, packing foam, raw poultry (kid once ate an entire box of ground turkey, even the package. didn't get sick), candles, and he drinks hand sanitizer. He hasn't gotten sick yet, but they save a lot of space in the trash when they're like "Wild, wanna eat this two month old meat?" Insert everyone feeding Wild Roolie's homemade food. Wild is an endless pit and has taken a drink of gasoline when he was really young. Time was freaking out, Malon was frantically calling the hospital, and Twilight was flat out sobbing because he thought Wild was going to die. Wild was perfectly fine and the doctors have concluded that Wild is some sort of god.


	124. Random thing part 128

An incarnation of Link is cucco Link and when the other Links find him, it's like the celebration of the eras came to a start.

Edit

He touches Twi's crystal and turns into a human.


	125. I have come to a conclusion

Link's true animal should be a phoenix. Just hear my extremely caffeinated logic out.

-He likes fire

-He's reborn (reincarnated, give or take, but still)

-Can fly, or use some kind of avian thing to his advantage- paraglider, crimson loftwing and sailcloth, wind waker, Legend's prolly got something in there to fly cause it's Legend, Time and Twilight use birds (still counts), 

-Heals other people (through various items, but still)

-He has an incredible amount of strength

-In videogames, he always comes back from the dead, whether from game over screens or taking a nap in the bath for a hundred years.

-Very powerful force and very majestic (*Look at that, BOTW Link just broke his shield and is rolling down the cliff, maybe just a powerful force, then).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 400 kudos? I'm freaking out!! Thanks so much, all of you!


	126. Inside their minds

I was just thinking about what is going on inside the Link's heads, so, here's the scenarios

Time: I must fight the temptation of donning the mask again. (and) I am so proud of the other Links and I wish them the best in life.

Twilight: Midna, wherever you are, I love you. (and) I hope the others won't judge me too harshly about using shadow magic.

Wild: I let down my kingdom and died, yet these men before me can defeat any opponent for the first time.

Warriors: Because of my mistakes, my pride, I let down my country, and I murdered so many that I don't know how to even face anyone anymore.

Wind: I must live up to the standards of being a true hero, and show all these other heroes that I'm not the weak link by being the youngest.

Sky: I caused their existence and I enforced a curse that promised they would be plagued by the hatred of a god.

Hyrule: They can't find out about my blood's properties or they'd want to kill me. 

Legend: I committed a very strange genocide, so I can never look to myself as a hero. I must keep up the bitter façade to keep them from finding out.

And then, as a fandom's agreement, we have Four-

Red: I'vE pAiD mY dUeS, tImE aFtEr TiMe

Green: I'Ve DoNe My SeNtEnCe, BuT CoMmItTeD No CrImE. AnD bAd MiStAkEs

Blue: I'Ve MaDe A fEw, I'vE hAd My ShArE oF SaNd

Vio: KiCkEd In My FaCe, BuT I'vE CoMe ThRoUgH

All: And WE MEAN TO GO ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON. WWWWWWEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRREEEEEEE TTTTTTHHHHHEEEEE CHAMPIIIIOOOOONNNNNSSSSSSS


	127. Legend's girlfriend

This could just be wishful thinking ~~it totally, completely is~~ , but what if the Wind Fish brought more people in to wake him up? People who thought they had no hope of leaving, and let the dream trick them and their memories so they settled down? So, now, what if Marin is real, Legend just hasn't found her yet. Now, let's say a red head appeared at Legend's house/storage for all his 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000+ items, but Legend wasn't there, so Ravio let her in. Now say Legend came back to talk to Ravio and demand for free items, since Ravio lives in his house for free.

When he arrives, Ravio goes, "I want nieces and nephews." Legend just gives him a wtf look, and goes inside to see Marin. The reactions could be as follows.

Realistic: Legend is convinced he's dreaming, until Marin proves otherwise, and even so, it takes a _lot_ to convince him otherwise. Legend is overjoyed and they get married pretty much right away. 

Probably not as realistic: Legend doesn't question anything and is overjoyed.

Okay, and now I have a WandaVision AU, but the Links created the world and it's LoZ based. Excuse me while I go make a new draft on Wattpad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random bonus.  
> Marin: When life gives you lemons, call them yellow oranges and sell them for double the price!  
> Ravio, wiping tears of pride: My sister in law has grown up!  
> Legend: Ravio, what did you teach her when I was gone?


	128. Wild's fam

Wild's dad actually didn't want Wild training or anything like that, since he didn't want his kid to have trauma or to become an empty shell. His father got in huge trouble when he tried to stop Link from becoming the hero. Sure, he did let Link come along on some travels, but that was when nobody could take care of Link or Link's younger sister. He did think that little toddler Link able to hold Daruk's boulder breaker was hilarious, though.


	129. Birthday headcanons

Since it is the 35th anniversary of LoZ, I thought it would be only appropriate to talk about the birthdays.

Hyrule: He doesn't exactly know the date or what a birthday is, until he met Zelda. She knew his birthday, being Zelda, and threw a _massive_ celebration. And Hyrule went 'All this for turning eleven?' He does quieter parties with Zelda now. He won't pass up the opportunity to eat cake. He says "Happy b-day" to people.

Legend: Is one of the Links who hates his birthday. "Ugh, I exist. Why should I celebrate it?" He asks his twin and friends. The only person he really wanted to celebrate with was Marin. Also, Legend used to treasure that day with Alfon ("Hey uncle, my birthday is the same day as the princess's.") "Why should I celebrate _your_ existence?" On the Inside: AAAH, what present should I get them?!

Time: doesn't really know when his birthday is. He celebrates with Malon, even though he doesn't like his birthday, and will usually wind up completely wasted. It is a fun day with Malon though. He does have a sweet tooth. "Happy birthday."

Four: He's a little split up about the situation. Blue likes his birthday, Green and Vio are indifferent, and Red detests his birthday. Even Red doesn't really know why, but it's just the worst day ever for him. Red will burrito blanket himself and stay hidden in Dot's room. "Good job being born like everyone else."

Wind: has a love-hate relationship with his birthday. On one hand, that's the day his sister got kidnapped. On the other hand, Aryll insists on celebrating, and will cry if he doesn't agree to it. Tetra will also let him shoot her gun. The rant of why the goddess got a sword instead of a gun is such a tradition on Wind's birthday, that everyone gets themselves mentally prepared a week before it happens. "Happy birthday!" Over the top overjoyed expression

Twilight: celebrates with the goats, the cats, Epona, and sometimes, more than Rusl, Uli, the children, and Ilia. He goes out as Wolfie around the animals when nobody is around, and plays with the animals. Is the type of person to smash his face in the cake. Also, his birthday is his payday, so he loves it. A certain shade mysteriously left his will on the doorstep. "Happy birthday!"

Sky: Zelda and Groose throw him a party when he gets up (at three pm in the afternoon) so he's still groggy, they once threw a surprise party and that went terribly for a guy who's trained to draw his sword and attack at the first sign of danger/surprise attacks/creatures popping out of nowhere even if he's only half awake, he's pretty indifferent but Zelda makes sure to give him all the love. "Have a superb birthday!"

Warriors: He does not want to celebrate his birthday and he knows his friends will go all out, so he hides his files, gets extremely cryptic when someone asks, and avoids the topic. He doesn't hate his birthday, he just never saw the point of celebrating and really doesn't want to get sidetracked. "It's your birthday? Oh, alright."

Wild: This boy and his birthday. He will do the most insane things, for no reason. It's almost like every day, except he takes it up a notch. He smacks his face into the cake, refuses to wear clothes, preferring to run around in his underwear, setting forests on fire, breaking every pot in sight. And he can get away with it. "Happy yeet outta the womb day!"


	130. Monster au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another au I whipped up from inspiration.

Sky: the spirit of the one-hit obliterator. Maybe not exactly a monster, but a very powerful weapon. Hylia turned him into it and left him to go insane for a long, long time. He’s somewhat nice to the hero (he doesn’t kill Wild, exactly).

Four: I just keep seeing him with four eyes, arms, legs and rows of teeth. My imagination is strange I know. An affect of the Four Sword. Really freaky kid, but Zelda keeps him protected by law.

Time: A mix of every transformation mask, but it’s like patches of different species’ skins. Malon loves her husband, even if he’s too tall to be in the house. 

Legend: Think the freaks from Autodale, except bunny styled. And you have Legend. He’s still pink. He’s trying to get used to this. If I’m right, he turned into bun bun before Koholint. So, Marin

Twilight: Werewolf boy all the way. His poor razor. That hair grows faster than he can shave it off and now everyone wonders why he’s over dressed all the time. Headlines: Werewolf rancher protects his farm animals instead of eating them, making his ancestor proud. Midna will not hesitate to play fetch. 

Wind: Siren. He doesn’t sink Tetra’s ship, but he isn’t afraid to capsize a boat if someone on it hurt his sister.

Hyrule: Some kind of energy being. He’s basically just walking power and both Zeldas keep him in the castle, because, as they say “that’s a catastrophe just waiting to happen.” Hyrule gets to be a gremlin without consequences, so he’s comfortable.

Wild: Zombie- a hero’s gotta do what a hero’s gotta do to keep his kingdom safe. Even if it means he’s got to round back for pieces of his internal organs. He’s forgotten his brain exists and it’s long since gone. That might help the fandom explain his lack of one.

Warriors: A demon, and I can’t think of the specific name, but some kind of war and bloodshed demon. He has a human disguise, so it’s all good. 


End file.
